Inspired by today’s session, I thought I would share my chi tree story. My aim is for it to help anyone going through feelings of loss and grief at this time.
At the beginning of January a beech tree was cut down near where I live. The trunk was over three feet wide, so it was a very old tree. I had often acknowledged it over the years as I walked past, admiring the huge, yet wonderfully fluid, knobbly trunk and the magical circular patterns inscribed in its bark. It upset me immensely to hear the chain saws and to witness the gradual reduction of the magnificent structure to a stump a few inches higher than the ground.
At the time I was processing a feeling of loss myself, so the felling of the tree acted as an externalisation of it.
I made a posy of olive, rosemary and rosehips, tied it with willow, and laid it by the stump. This symbolises, peace, rememberence and awakening. The willow is for emotional healing. I noticed how the massive roots, which looked more like branches, were rippling into the earth below. It was as if they were drawing me in with them.
I made my way to the allotments, where I have some plots. To my amazement, there was a huge mound of gold in the communal area by the apple trees. It was about five feet high. On closer inspection, it was in fact wood chippings. A fellow plot holder confirmed they were from the beech tree.
Over the next few days, I began to communicate with this mound of chippings. It was as if the spirit of the tree was still in them. I would fall onto the pile with my arms wide open and give it a long hug. I could feel it hugging back. There was warmth beneath the surface, as the chippings were beginning to decompose, and soon steam began to rise from the top of the heap.
When I plunged my hands into the heap, underneath was very hot indeed. It was like the tree’s heart was still beating in there. The energy of that heart was like liquid gold, and I had the impression of it streaming down the huge pile into the land around it.
I stood on top of the mound in the tree pose, from yoga, and blessed the land, as if I was the tree speaking.
It was as if the tree wanted badly to give its abundant love to the land and the community around it, and I was helping it. I felt so strongly its golden legacy, and how big its heart was.
It made me realise that the people who leave the physical who we love have a golden legacy they want to transmit to us as well, and that this can happen in ways that are surprising or even challenging to us, but that if we go with the flow of what they are asking, we discover how brave and creative we can be in expressing the love we feel for them, and the love they feel for us.
Maybe the things we create can even take us into a life that more truly reflects who we are, because they come directly from our open hearts.
